Billie Eilish’s “don’t smile at me” is by far one of my favourite albums of 2017, and when I first listened to it, one song in particular stood out to me. “party favor” instantly captured my attention just by the first lines:
“ Hey - call me back when you get this
Or when you’ve got a minute
We really need to talk
Wait - you know what?
Maybe just forget it
Cuz by the time you get this
Your number might be blocked “
I thought this was a pretty accurate portrayal of some people: instead of solving your problems, just cut those around you off until you’re lonely and miserable, and then blame it on others.
Sometimes, when someone like this tries to reconnect with the people they threw away, they’re shocked or upset when the other person doesn’t want to make up, or when they can’t be as close as they were before. But what they don’t understand is that the world doesn’t revolve around them: you can’t treat someone like trash and expect to be welcomed back with open arms when you decide that you want them in your life again.
I’m not saying that anyone who has a tendency to abandon the people close to them is necessarily an awful person: we all have our flaws and impulses. Some people fear commitment or attachment for various reasons, and I’m definitely not in a position to be judging anyone on that. But there’s only so many times you can be wronged and mistreated by the same person before you realize that having them in your life isn’t what’s best for you.
The concept for this series is simple: someone throws a party and invites all of his “friends”, only to have no one shows up. It’s meant to show that people won’t come running back to you when you’re sorry if you constantly took their presence for granted: why go out of your way for someone who didn’t appreciate you when you were there for them?
Since I want these photos to feel genuine, and since it’s something I’ve recently completely fallen in love with, I’ve decided to shoot the series on 120 film. Although digital would have been easier (not to mention cheaper), and allowed more photos and the opportunity of reshooting a flopped photo, I find it sort of consistent to the theme of the series to only have a set amount of shots I can take. Only having 8 photos per roll of film doesn’t really leave much room for error, and requires planning before every shot.
Before making assumptions (or feeling attacked), here’s a disclaimer: my intention is in no way to expose anyone, nor to cause drama. The reason for creating this series is because I found it difficult to walk away from a situation like this without getting something out of it. I can’t deny that I had vengeful intentions at the beginning of my brainstorming. However, as time passed and I put more and more ideas together (not to mention stopped caring as much), I dropped the shadiest parts and realized that my concept had really shifted from “dragging” someone else to just coming up with something that I was proud of. My camera is an extension of my mind: I feel like if I don’t use my passion to make something out of an unpleasant experience, then I’m not taking full advantage of it. I’m simply using my art (pressing a button for a living) as a way for me to express myself and make something out of a concept that I’ve gotten to be be familiar with recently.
Anyways, that’s all I’m going to say about that. Enjoy.